Sister, Sister Pt 1- The Day I Was Found via Facebook

Two years ago today, I opened Facebook Messenger to following message and photo:

"Hi, my name is Ebony. Not sure if you've ever heard of me but I believe we share a biological father. I've had a picture that I was told was you my entire life. It matches a picture of you and your mom I saw shared on here. I'm not really sure how something like this is supposed to go, but if you're open to it, I would love for us to have a conversation."

I read it a couple of times and stared at the picture of myself as a toddler. I climbed into the lap of the guy I was dating at the time and asked his thoughts on whether I should respond. He had also found siblings as an adult and built relationships with them, so I felt he could weigh in on the subject from experience. He encouraged me to respond sooner than later. Sounded good, but honestly, I still felt indifferent.

Several years prior, I had reached out to my biological father. This was after he found my mother on Facebook and asked that she pass on his number. So, I called. He entertained the call for about a minute or two, and then told me that he was watching a football game, and would call me back. Hands-down, the longest game that has ever been played, because at that time, the call still hadn't been returned. And I wasn't pressed at all. I legit conceived, delivered, and raised a kid to attend Kindergarten and he was still waiting on referees to make decisions, apparently. I had his number, as he had mine. I just never felt the urge to call it again.

And, I already knew I had at least one younger sibling outside of the two I grew up with. I always had known. I knew because according to my mother, she was engaged to my father and broke it off when she found out he had gotten another girl pregnant. She married the man I know as my dad in 1989 and my biological father signed over his parental rights so that I could be adopted, and share the family last name. Looking at this message, I thought, I have a family, I have a sister, and several sister-friends, what could opening this door really lead to?

30 mins after receiving the message, I began my response. Then I deleted it. Then I typed it again. And then I erased it. Then I thought, Eh, she might as well get the real, direct, sarcastic me from jump. And I responded:

Hi. Yeah, My birth father's name is ------ ------.

I called him a few years ago and he said he would

call me back after he was finished watching a foot-

ball game, and I guess it's still going. I'm busy this

weekend, but we can talk sometime next week.

One thing about me, I'm either hated or loved, there is no in between. Since I prefer to be myself all day, every day and only be around people who genuinely enjoy my presence, this actually works out well for me. Those who do not want to be around me, find a reason not to be. Those who can vibe with me, do. And she was not deterred. Ebony responded that it sounded like him and we exchanged numbers. And what did it lead to?

• Finding out about 3 additional siblings, one of whom is the same age as my son

• Meeting a niece who is related to the same guy who encouraged me to respond to the Facebook message

• Having a conversation with my biological father that lasted more than ninety secs

And so much more. But most importantly, it lead to a new relationship with a sister who is so similar it's quite uncanny. Obviously these things didn't happen overnight. Before talking to her, I had things to take care of and a bit of internet sleuthing to do. First step, see who our mutual Facebook friends were. And when I did, the one that caught my eye was a friend of mine from high school that I was still in contact with. I wondered how they knew each other. To my surprise, when I asked, the friend was quite shocked herself that I did not know my half-sister. Because she went to high school with us for 3 years.

For 3 years I walked the same halls as my biological little sister and had no idea. If my sibling were a boy, I could have accidentally dated my brother. What in the Law and Order SVU, Sister, Sister, Real World Saint Louis was going on here?

I'll be back to continue this story.